the weather has been really freaky these few days. just a really simple example: the weather yesterday was crazily hot while the night before there was a huge thunderstorm. This morning, i woke up to the cool breeze that hinted at the possibility of having heavy rain and clouds for the rest of the day. While walking to the bus stop, it suddenly occurred to me that although weathermen can predict the weather, or attempt to predict the weather, there are times when the weather still changes at the last minute, where the weather is actually highly unpredictable. What is the point of talking about all this you might ask?
Well, a random thought occurred to me as I watch the cars go by and ponder about the things that are going on in my life. Human feelings and emotions are just like the weather, or are very similar to. This is because the unpredictability of the weather is just like the unpredictability of our emotions. Who can say with certainty what would happen tomorrow? Who can say for certain how we would feel a few hours from now, or even minutes from now, much less the next day or even weeks, months and years? (Of course apart from God who knows our hearts and feelings)
This then again links to another thought. The unpredictability of human emotions parallels that of the unpredictability and uncertainty of life. Again, who can say for sure what would happen tomorrow? Who can say for sure what would even happen 5 minutes from now. Today might be just like any other normal day, where we wake up and go about our daily routine. For all we know, today might be a turning point in our lives. Who's to say?
Sometimes (or in fact most of the time) we search for comfort and security in a world that is uncertain. It is human nature to desire and yearn for security, to be able to hold on to something that we can be sure of, be it God or even our friends. I believe that we are creatures of habit. Of course it is undeniable that change is exciting and can be fun but change can also be tiring. I'm not trying to be an advocate for a state of inertia. I believe that there are always 2 sides of the coin and we cannot just look at one side and come up with our verdict.
|10:11 AM|
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Sunday, April 26, 2009
the voice of truth tells me a different story
Oh,what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes To climb out of this boat I'm in Onto the crashing waves To step out of my comfort zone Into the realm of the unknown Where Jesus is, And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The waves they keep on telling me time and time again "Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!" and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The giant keeps on telling me time and time again "Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!" and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them looking down I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me
But the voice of truth tells me a different story The voice of truth says "do not be afraid" And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe I will listen and believe the voice of truth I will listen and believe 'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth And I will listen to you..
it is amazing how things can change so easily, how people and feelings can change so easily ... one minute, everything is normal and the next, you wonder why you're doing the things you do, why you're in the situation you are .. at the point of time when you are making that decision, everything seems so right, when you're in it, it seems so right ... but when you take a step back to look at the bigger picture, when you step back to re-evaluate, you realise what you thought you wanted all the while, may not actually be what you desire, or what you want .. how is someone to come to terms with that? how is someone to decide what is it that he/she really wants?
our life is constantly changing.. as the people and environment in our lives change, so does the situations we are in and so are the things we yearn and look forward to .. when this happens, inevitably, our person changes, our outlook and attitude changes ... what had felt so right all the while, now turns out to be something that we are constantly in doubt of, something that we are confused about ... what is the rationale for us doing the things that we do? how do we decide when we have made the right decision? do we really want to look back on our lives with regret? do we want to always be wondering what things would have been like should we have chosen a different path? what's a person to do when conflicting emotions and wishes come into play? we pray, but what if we are unsure of what God's answer is? a decision can change our lives .. for better or for worse, we wouldn't know until we have made that decision, until we have experienced for ourselves the consequences (not necessarily bad) of our decisions
so ... when do we know that we have what we want? i honestly believe that we never will ... afterall, the grass is always greener on the other side ...
the greatest joke of human kind is that we are never satisfied .. the dangerous question of 'what if' is always tormenting us and will always be on our minds, even if we think we are sure of our decision and we are sure that we have done the right thing, we always want something more, we always want something different ...
well, this weekend was amazing! met jestyn on saturday .. while the guys played ball, i tried to finish up my research paper (which sadly is due this friday) ... slept the afternoon away ... and we went for his platoon cohesion outing at night ... met his PC who happens to know quite afew of our church people and school people as well .. it's a small world after all (: it was quite fun actually, the guys are hilarious! lols ...
okay, so i'm down with a flu these 2 days .. it started on Sunday by i couldn't really be bothered with it .. so my condition just deteriorated .. was more or less down for yesterday (quite amazed that i still made it to school for project meeting and held my way).. met jestyn after that.. he was the best yesterday! initally, we were supposed to watch confessions of a shopaholic .. but cos i'm really not feeling well, i decided to go home ...
somehow, these few days, i've been looking at things really differently ... when you're sick, nothing seems to matter anymore, honestly. i couldn't be bothered with my projects or assignments .. just wanted to curl up and sleep the day away .. unfortunately, as we all know, i can't do that.. which is the most saddening thing ever and honestly, this is THE WORST time to fall sick, what with presentations coming up and papers due, study week coming up and then exam week ... gosh .. ):
this is saddening .. again, i ask myself ... why do i subject myself to this torture?
prof was saying today that most people find their work-life balance too late. they end up working their lives away till they hit the age of 40, and following that they spend as much money as they can, hoping to get back their lives.. he told us to find our balance as quickly as possible ..
which makes me wonder, what is it that makes me happy?
what is it that i will enjoy doing ... ? honestly, will i enjoy doing what i'm studying now? (not that whatever i'm studying now is useful in the future anyway)
do i want to end up like one of those parents who miss their children's chilhood and teenage years? no ... i'm quite sure about that ...
when i go through the looking glass, will i look back and find murky waters where i was unsure and unclear about what i was doing? or will i find a crystal clear glass that reflects all the great things that has happened in my life .. ?
will i look back in regret?
All the colors of the rainbow All of voices of the wind Every dream that reaches out That reaches out to find where love begins Every word of every story Every star in every sky Every corner of creation lives to testify
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above For as long as I shall live I will testify to love
From the mountains to the valleys From the rivers to the sea Every hand that reaches out Every hand that reaches out to offer peace Every simple act of mercy Every step to kingdom come All the Hope in every heart will,speak what love has done
Colors of the rainbow Voices of the wind Heaven reaches out where love begins Every word of every story Every star in every sky All creation testify
Mountains to the valleys Rivers to the sea Heaven reaches out to offer peace Simple act of mercy Kingdom come Every heart will speak what love has done
Colors of the rainbow Voices of the wind Heaven reaches out where love begins Word of every story Star in every sky All creation testify
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above For as long as I shall live I will testify
Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowin' you can always count on me, for sure That's what friends are for For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for
